The Easy-Going Enneagram 9: The Peacemaker

What is it like to be an Enneagram 9, the last number on the scale? Sometimes described as “the crown” of the Enneagram, this is one of the most dynamic and all-encompassing types.

Enneagram 9s are full of depth, complexity, and emotions. Nines are agreeable, understanding, patient, supportive, and genuine. They’re a friend you want to have in your corner. Read on to examine the Enneagram 9 personality type, find blind spots, and understand what exactly makes them tick.

Key Personality Traits of the Enneagram 9

A nine’s basic desire is to find inner peace, particularly mentally and spiritually. They want to be in harmony with themselves and the world around them. A nine’s primary fear is that they may lose or become separated from those closest to them. 

Nines are known to be accepting, trusting, stable, optimistic, creative, and supportive. At their best, they’re courageous and all-embracing. They can unify people and heal conflicts.

In their quest for conflict avoidance, they can be willing to minimize or go against their opinions or convictions to keep the peace. This can often lead to complacency and oversimplifying problems.

Typical Thinking Patterns

Nines like structured processes, clarity, and details. A Nine may be more opinionated and stubborn than people may assume. They will rarely express their inner thoughts or self-reflection with others as they do not want to potentially “weigh them down.” Nines may even be resigned to being slightly dissatisfied with certain aspects of their life or relationships because they don’t want to “stir the pot.”

enneagram 9 avoiding conflict

Typical Feeling Patterns

Even though Nines experience a broad range of feelings, they’ll often externally show an easy-going and low-key demeanor. They will keep intense feelings to themselves, allowing others to perceive the Nine as very approachable and serene, even if they don’t feel that way.

Anger is an emotional drain for Nines, who often be unaware they’re upset. Therefore, they won’t allow themselves to experience anger too often or too intensely. Nines are perceptive to the feelings and emotions of the people around them, sensing and sharing the perceived energy. 

Typical Action Patterns

Nines control their environment by preventing others from controlling them, typically passively resisting. Their actions or inactions will maintain harmony and peace while avoiding conflict. They create familiar routines and rhythms in their lives, which brings them comfort. Nines want to feel close and connected to people, often adopting the habits, hobbies, interests, or even emotions of the people they know intimately.

Enneagram 9 Wings

Each number on the Enneagram has “wings.” These are numbers next to them on the circular scale. These wings are personality types with which the individual shares similar characteristics and forms a more specific profile. In this case, the Nine’s wings are 8 and 1.

A 9w8 is called the “the Advisor” or “the Referee.” This individual is independent, social, and enjoys routine in their behavior. They are generally more adventurous and assertive than other Enneagram Type Nines.

A 9w1 is called “the Negotiator” or “the Dreamer.” This subtype is hardworking, creative, and friendly. They are typically more idealistic and serious than other nines.

Enneagram 9 Family Dynamics

9s like to keep protection and comfort in their domestic lives. They’ll often be happy to go to the same restaurant every week or the same yearly vacation destination. The home is about creating and sustaining a safe haven from life’s ups and downs.

As parents, nines are wise, understanding, and deeply empathetic to the world of their children. They approach problems with creative thinking, humor, and diplomacy and their kids are always free to be who they are. 

Nines feel stressors as a parent when there’s conflict and fighting within the home, feeling pressure to make a decision, not knowing what they really want. With parenting, they tend to say yes when they want to say no. Sometimes, they’ll allow their kids to take advantage of them when stressed.

enneagram 9
@the.enneagram.mom

The Enneagram Nine in Romantic Relationships

The Type 9 is a loving, kind companion when they’re emotionally healthy and present. They are deeply receptive, accepting, and relaxed. When Nines are more suppressive of their true selves, they can seem distant and disinterested. 

In their attempt to be as cooperative as possible, 9s tend to go along with whatever their partner wants. They so strongly desire for their partner to be happy that they’ll make themselves unhappy trying to meet all their loved one’s wants and needs.

If Type 9s can move past their natural avoidant tendencies, romantic partnerships become easier. Their focus on fairness and stability means that they can thrive in long-term relationships. Enneagram 9s with healthy self-awareness will be able to solve conflict without heated fights. When the right person is willing to push, encourage, and balance them, Type 9s often find long-lasting happiness.

Type 9 Levels of Health and Development

At their best, Nines are self-aware and vibrant. They offer the gift of just, sustainable action to themselves and the world around them. When they’re in a season of growth, they typically show characteristics of an Enneagram 3 like assertiveness and high energy.

Less-healthy Nines may be experienced as procrastinating, stubborn, and self-denying. This stems from a pattern of accommodating to get along with others and the eventual discomfort that arises when this strategy doesn’t play out as expected. When in stress, Enneagram 9s tend to show the anxious-avoidant qualities of an Enneagram 6.

Growth Tips for Enneagram Type 9

As a foundation for healthy social interactions, Nines need to know that their voice matters because they matter. For Nines, it’s helpful to recognize that it’s impossible to avoid every conflict and resist the temptation to escape it. This takes practice.

Nines need to remember that there’s no such thing as a relationship without anger, disappointment, or conflict. Also, most problems don’t fix themselves. Some things are just too big to wait out or numb out. Conflict is part of what it means to be human. Accepting inevitable conflict will help Nines have realistic, not idealized, relationships.

You May be an Enneagram 9 If…

  • You find it difficult to leave your bed or the couch. Sometimes you think you could just melt right into the bed.
  • The last thing you would ever join–the debate team. Or maybe the military. 
  • You avoided that phone call, email, or text because of a potentially confrontational situation.
  • People keep asking you if you’ve seen that new TV show, but you can’t because you’re too busy binge-watching *comfort show* for the 8th time. 
  • One-on-one quality time with a best friend is a must. But sometimes, in the back of your mind, you’re afraid that pushing to hang out with someone may inconvenience them or annoy them.
  • Your friends seem to want to go to McDonald’s, even though you just had it for lunch. You don’t say anything, even though you’ll probably regret eating it twice in one day.
  • Your mantra is, “I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. If I ignore it, it’ll go away.”
  • You’re always looking for an excuse to go home and get back in bed. 

Who are Some Famous Enneagram 9s?

It can be fun to compare yourself to famous creatives, leaders, and visionaries. Based on public perceptions, these are some famous Enneagram 9s. Can you identify with any of these well-known figures?

  • Barack Obama
  • Audrey Hepburn
  • Queen Elizabeth II
  • Abraham Lincoln
  • Zooey Deschanel
  • Audrey Hepburn
  • Walt Disney
  • Ringo Starr
  • Ronald Reagan
  • Fred Rogers

Are You an Enneagram Nine?

Can you identify with any of these characteristics? You may just be an Enneagram 9! As the Peacemaker, the Enneagram Nine has the potential to change the world in wonderful ways! While the Enneagram is not prescriptive nor exhaustive, it’s a great way to understand yourself and achieve personal growth.

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